More Than I Could Give

So I've mentioned on a few occasions that I have a young son. He is almost 2, or as I like to think of him, 581 days old. It has been the fastest moving 581 days of my life. I already look through "old" pictures of Jude and I'm blown away by how much he changes and so quickly. The craziest part is that I have absolutely no recollection of my life before he was born. Sure, I can vaguely remember aspects of it. For instance, I remember being happy. I remember the people that I spent the most time with when free time was a thing. I remember the movies I used to like when I had time to watch them. But to specifically pinpoint how my days were spent prior to August 13, 2015, I would be guessing or lying, because that world doesn't exist anymore. Jude Alexander Vance is my A.D. And that's wonderful!

I know you're dying to know more about Jude, so here are some crazy things about my son:

1. Sometimes, I feel like he looks exactly like me...But other times, he looks soooooo much like my beautiful wife! It's bizarre.
2. He's a person. He walks, he talks, he climbs, he runs, he makes me laugh, he has interests, and favorites, and is never far from my thoughts. 600 days ago, I was still guessing what he'd be like. He was alive, but I didn't know him. Now, I know him so well!
3. He walks on his tip toes. It's a really weird quirk and I'd love to say that I don't know where he gets that from except that I do. My parents tell me that I walked exactly the same way when I was his age.
4. He doesn't have to be taught in order to learn. He just observes the people in his world and he picks things up. It scares me that my one and a half year old is smarter than I am.
5. Whenever he says "Daddy," I feel an indescribable joy. Fortunately, I see the look on his mom's face when he says "Mommy," and I know that she feels it too.

And of course, any parents out there are reading and smiling and thinking about their own children and grandchildren. If you do not have children yet, don't worry, you'll feel it too. Also, nieces and nephews can have the same effect I've found. Take it from a guy who never thought he wanted children until Jude arrived--it's magical.

Last week, I was so fortunate to spend three full, uninterrupted days with Kayla and Jude in Branson, MO. Let me tell you, that's as close to Heaven on Earth as I have ever been and I can say, if Heaven is anything like that time with my family, count me all the way in. We swam. We played on a playground. We laughed. We went out to new restaurants and tried local foods. We went to a couple of animal parks.

Side note - Jude got to be about 30 inches from two different tigers. He loved it! The tigers loved it! And Kayla and I loved it! It was awesome!!!

Point being, I really love my son! I know, blah, blah, blah. But it's true, and he's on my mind a lot, so, he will be a recurring theme in these pages. Get used to it!

And, of course, if you know me or feel like you're starting to know me through these blog entries, then you know that everything causes me to think. And with Easter coming, (or Passover if you are of Jewish faith), of course, I've been thinking about that. What does Easter mean?

So what follows may seem scattered because I'm going to circle around to several ideas, but I promise, I'm going somewhere so please try to follow me. Thanks ☺

I was thinking about how wonderful Christmas is, and should be. The celebration of the Messiah being born, the fruition of ancient prophecy, the humble king born in a manger. And doesn't it feel good to decorate the house and buy presents and feel the anticipation of seeing someone open the thing that you hope they've been desperately wanting. And, of course, we give these gifts because wise men gave their gifts to baby Jesus. I love Christmas!

And then I think about what we give at Easter and why...It's strange, we give Easter baskets and bunnies and eggs and I like to believe that that is all fitting because it represents new life, like the Resurrection. But I sometimes wonder why we give so much at Christmas and so little at Easter when we (humanity) were given so much at Easter? And then I think about the things that I could never give. Guess what comes to mind first: Jude Alexander Vance. My 581-day-old, one and only son. I don't think there is anything I could give him up for.

And now we're coming to it...See this story starts when Abraham, an old man, who had been waiting his whole life to have a son with his wife, Sara. God had made a promise to Abraham that his descendants would outnumber the sands of the beach and the stars in the sky (See Genesis chapters 22 & 24). That's a lot of offspring. But as he (Abraham) approached the age of 100, still no offspring. He eventually grew impatient and had a child with a servant (Hagar) whom he named Ishmael (this is why Abraham  is also the Patriarch of Islam), and then, after Abraham got ahead of God's perfect timing, God finally told Abraham and Sara that they would have their own son together even in their old age. His name was Issac (this is why Abraham is the Patriarch of Judaism and Christianity).

Off topic, but being the father of three religions certainly fulfills God's original promise that Abraham would have descendants so numerous that they would outnumber the sands and the stars. Also, Sara forcing Ishmael and his mother Hagar to flee from them came with a promise from the Lord that God sees the injustice done to Ishmael (the Nation of Islam) and that Ishmael would fight his brother Isaac, but that Ishmael's descendants would also be blessed. Think of how clearly this defines the role of religion in our world and especially in the Middle East.

Anyway, back on track. Later, God tells Abraham to take Issac out into the woods and prepare a sacrifice (shedding innocent blood is the only atonement for sin). Abraham believes that God is asking him to sacrifice his son Issac (who is innocent) and Abraham is willing to obey. (I cannot even imagine this). When God see's Abraham's obedience, he stops the sacrifice and offers a new sacrifice...God offers up himself.

Flash forward to Jesus. The Messiah, born a Jew to a virgin teenager, delivered in a manger on the back side of nowhere with a Jewish leader, Herod, killing first born Jewish children to prevent them from taking his throne. A man without sin, found blameless by the courts, hated by his own (Romans 10, they were blinded so that we might be crafted in), offered up as a living sacrifice (Jesus' blood was innocent too; the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world), God's only son, Jesus of Nazareth.

At this point, if you are a Christian, you are probably waiting for the review to end and the point to land. If you are not, you might be wondering why in the world Christians believe in a deity, and moreover, why that deity would choose a virgin teenager to birth a child through supernatural conception, only to be brutally tortured and murdered, given up by his friends and condemned by his own race? And most of all, you, the non-Christian might be wondering how someone could believe such a fantastic and unbelievable tale...I'll answer the question of the non-Christian first with a paraphrasing of Paul Harvey's famous, "Christmas Story: The Man And The Birds," (see full text here) that I hope finds the mark, and then make my final point.

A wife asks her husband to go to church with her and their child for Christmas service. The husband refuses because of how unbelievable the whole story of Jesus is. He was in his chair, warm by the fire during a snow storm, when he heard a loud sound. It was birds tapping at the window, trying desperately to get in his house. Rather than let them freeze in the cold, the man decided to try to get the birds to shelter in his barn. He opened the barn doors wide, but they wouldn't come. So he went to get bread crumbs to throw in the barn, but the birds weren't enticed. He tried unsuccessfully to catch them and then tried to shoo them in, but they continued to flap helplessly in the cold snow. Then he realized that he frightened the birds because he was a big, foreign creature that they couldn't understand. "If I could only be a bird and mingle with them and speak their language. Then I could tell them not to be afraid. Then I could show them the way into the safe, warm barn...But I would have to be one of them so they could see, hear, understand..."

I'll end there, but let me say that it dawned on him that there was a very good reason that God became man...Humans aren't gods and so they cannot relate with God. But when God became man, he could show people the way.

Now, to get to the point, I love my only son more than anything. There is no way that I could look around at the rest of the world and offer him up as a sacrifice for its wrongdoing. He's too sweet. Too funny. Too beautiful. Too innocent. And I love him way too much. There is no way I could watch him be beaten, ridiculed, tortured, and killed. But, as a Christian, that's exactly what I believe God did for you, and me, and the entire world from the beginning to the end. He took what was most valuable and poured out all of his wrath and judgement and punishment on Jesus, so that we could be saved, feel loved, and have eternal life. I get very emotional now as I finally understand the story of Easter.

We don't give gifts at Easter because there is no gift that could ever compare to the gift of the cross...And what's even better is that, because Jesus Christ is God in flesh, his power showed in the Resurrection. He conquered death, Hell, and the grave. He is Lord! He is love! His arms are open to everyone of us! All because he gave what I could never give.